Liquid ASS: Funny Office Pranks & Practical Jokes
Is your job leaving you bored, apathetic, bitter, and/or disgruntled? Is the life being sucked out of you on a daily basis? Has your boss beaten you down to the point that you have given up? Take back the work–place with Liquid ASS. Pull a Liquid ASS office prank and put yourself in the driver seat. Sit back and laugh as your coworkers and managers wonder what the hell happened. Then, pull another Liquid ASS prank at work the following week. Suddenly you will find yourself laughing frequently, feeling happy and upbeat, and looking forward to going to work in the morning.
Liquid ASS is a highly concentrated liquid fart smell that, when properly applied, produces a repulsive, long–lasting, butt–crack stench (see our Suggested Uses page for proven methods and prank ideas). It can be applied silently because it streams out and it is easily concealed in the palm of your hand. It is clear, so it is hard to see. For these reasons, if you are careful, you can prank again as often as you like. But it doesn't end there — overhearing your coworkers' and boss's as to what that horrible smell could possibly be will have you in fits of laughter.
How to Pull an Over–the–Top Office Prank
Using the streaming tip version of Liquid ASS, squirt liberally with a sweeping motion over a large surface area.
On most carpeted floors, Liquid ASS is not visible and the smell lasts longer. On tile floors, squirt in the corners to minimize light reflection. (See illustrations below). A good rule of thumb is to apply Liquid ASS around the perimeter of the target area or approximately that same amount spread over the middle area.
Several significant variables will affect the performance of your Liquid ASS operation. Results will vary due to ventilation, room size, and amount applied. In general (95% of the time), when used indoors with medium ventilation, a third of a bottle will generate dry–heave–quality stench from one to three hours.
The guidelines given above combine simplicity, effectiveness, and entertainment value.
Customer Testimonial: Biggest Prankster at the Office Gets His
A guy in our office happens to be the biggest prankster around. We sprayed Liquid ASS in his office just before he got in and he didn't know what hit him. We let the bomb off over his desk and he was so disgusted that he threw out his phone and computer keyboard stating (excuse my french), "Someone wiped their ass on this!!" ha-ha He thought a dog had let one go in his office! It was so funny because, not only did it smell horrible (due to the three sprays), but he was blaming EVERYONE!!
We never let on who did it. We are thinking about doing it again because it worked out better than planned. He has no idea who did it!!!
It was worth the money to have done this stinky prank. Thanks a lot!
— Master Blaster, Long Island
Customer Testimonial: Call Center Chaos — A Liquid ASS Saga
For the summer while I am back home, awaiting to go back to school across the state, I had to take a telemarketing job at a call center I worked at last summer. Needless to say, I hope I already have your sympathies. Anyway, the past two days have been horrific . . . the head manager on the day shift (when I work) has been a complete and total ass**** to me. So, I told two of my buddies that I'm about to ASS the call center. In less than 20 days, I quit that job to go back to school. I told them on the last day I was going to "ASS" the place. They didn't believe me. So, I brought in a bottle of Liquid ASS today and showed them. Later, on a break, me, my friend and his sister were the only three in the breakroom. I squirted the stuff in between two vending machines . . . only a few squirts did the trick. I told them, "You two may want to leave ASAP." When I went back into the break room, it was crowded at the doorway and my friend, his sister, and my other friend came out. One told me, "You can't even go in there! It seriously stinks!" He pulled me aside and said, "Dude, that was some of the worst–smelling stuff I've ever breathed in my life. I can't wait until your last day." There were even several complaints to the head manager. Thank goodness for Liquid ASS! That "ASSing preview" I gave to my friends today really made our day. I can't wait until my last day.
[A few weeks later]
Today was my last day at that call center. PRAISE THE LORD!! Anyway, on with the fun . . .
I was called into my manager's office during lunch (yeah, during lunch, go figure . . .) So I walked into his office and he told me that since it was my last day, he came to the conclusion that I was wasting time. He said I wasn't "putting up the numbers" (translate: Making the ass****s at corporate more money.) They fired several people on their "last day" a day or so ago . . . so I knew it would be a matter of time. He then handed me a paper to sign. I looked over it and the word "Termination" was circled and below it was written out that I was being terminated for low production. I took that piece of paper, wadded it up, threw it down and said, "You know what!? You all can pound sand . . . I QUIT!" The manager then told me, "Good. Get out of here. We don't want you in here." I then walked out of his office, whipped out my ASS and sprayed that shit everywhere — on the cloth that covers the cubicles, on the floor, just anywhere I could on my way out. I'm not sure how much of the bottle I used. I just opened it up, pressed my index finger and thumb on the bottle and started squeezing as I walked back to my station to get my stuff, and on the way out until I got to the sidewalk outside. Now, as we speak, some of those poor saps that love working there are wallowing in ASS! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Long live Liquid ASS!!!
[A few hours later]
One person called me up on the afternoon break and said that it was chaos in the call center. He said the managers were having the hardest time figuring out where the smell was coming from . . . and forced the callers to stay on the phones . . . they had to endure it! Our resident Briton said it smelled like "rotting feet cheese." One of the managers said it was the worst, putrid smell she had ever smelled. They thought it was initially the bathrooms, but had no success eliminating it. He told me that several people got up and left, and others got sick and ran to the bathrooms. HAHAHA!!! He told me after the shift was over that the smell was still "detectable", like leftover Liquid ASS. As far as the big boss himself, well, my friend told me that his face was redder than ever (his face is as red as Dale Jr's #8 car because he is very overweight and always has high blood pressure) and he was just fuming for the rest of the shift. My only regret is that I did not ASS the manager on his shirt or pants. Boy oh boy, that would have been worth it . . . have him walking around smelling like a 5XL turd. Oh well.
Thank you all for a wonderful product that is American made, stealthy, safe, and STINKY!
Other Liquid ASS Office Prank Ideas
People: Direct application on the targeted person: BE CAREFUL! Liquid ASS is silent and the thin stream is hard to see or feel, but given the circumstances, it is easier to get caught. But, watching the person walk around smelling like a turd is worth the patience and effort. Applying Liquid ASS on the intended victim outside in the rain prior to coming indoors is one way to decrease chances of detection.
Elevators: Let them ride that ASS (small enclosed areas are perfect).
Door handles: Their hand will smell like they shoved it up Andre the Giant's ass.
Office chair: Put it on their chair directly; get it on their clothes indirectly.
Telephone receiver: Give them something to talk about.
Office desk: Now the brown-noser smells like the brown (apply around the rear edges).
Customer Testimonial: Crazy DJ's Pull Practical Joke at the Office
Dear makers of the most wretched, foul-smelling, stink bomb in the history of mankind,
My name is Samiam and I am a DJ at 102.7 K-ROCK here in San Antonio. Recently, We received some Liquid Ass and tested it in one of our offices during business hours. 5 squirts of this stuff cleared out 2 wings of our building and sent many to a lengthy lunch. Not too long thereafter, FreeBeer and Catfish, who do our morning show, did an interview with you guys to spread the word of this phenomenal product. IT WORKS!! If you are ever in a place you don't particularly wanna be — i.e. work, bad movie, ex-girlfriends house, or Starbucks hehe >;) — A few squirts of this stuff definitely does the trick. It smells so foul that you can even smell it through an unopened bottle.
This stuff is overwhelmingly potent. Liquid Ass to me is now ranked among the greatest inventions of all time. Some of those being the light bulb, the microwave, and the blowup doll. Thank you for your invention.
— Sam "Samiam" Pieprzyca
Customer Testimonial: Office Coworker Revenge Prank
Just wanted to tell you that one of my coworkers had gotten me in trouble by not being able to keep his mouth shut, so I planned revenge. While he was out of his office, I squirted the Liquid ASS right under his desk. When he came back, he actually came in my office looking for help to locate the smell. Luckily he wasn't asking me. I had my back turned and it was all I could do not to giggle. At this time, I had to go outside (I made up an excuse) and saw him getting a flashlight to find a dead animal. (I have no clue why he would have thought it was a dead animal — actually I do — it's called the power of suggestion). He tore his office up trying to find the cause of the smell and finally gave up after about 2 hours and relocated to a different office. THAT'S WHAT HE GETS.
Someone said, "It's definitely organic. I'm glad I have a stuffed up nose so I can't smell it."
And my favorite comment was, "You have got to be kidding me!"
I had to leave early that day to keep from busting out laughing and giving it away. When I came in the next day, a coworker who was in on the prank, told me that he went so far as to call the maintenance man in to figure it out. I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard.
— Scorpio's Revenge
Customer Testimonial: Coworker Prank
We have pulled off our ass operations on a lady we work with because we have all decided that "when you treat someone like ass, you will have to spend the entire day dealing with the public smelling like ass!!"
It has been driving her nuts trying to find the source of the odor! We have had the exterminator in several times, she takes the trash out constantly, and she has kept the doors open at our store (she HATES the cold too). Yes, customers have commented on the horrible smell. You see, our customers are primarily the elderly and we have the "seniors" that come in from the adult day care center so many of the customers think that it is the seniors. Meanwhile, I and the other 2 girls I work with have been pretty much peeing our pants with laughter. We try not to get her everyday that way she doesn't suspect anything. We have gotten her shoes, her sweater, her socks and her uniform. She keeps sending her uniforms back to the company for cleaning.
If she doesn't start to be nicer, her car seats are next (and the heat of the summer is coming!).
Never underestimate the power and ingenuity of a Teamster!! (Yes, we are all union at my store and this is a wonderful way to get a message across to someone who needs to be put in their place). Thank you for creating such a powerful little product. We will use it as much as necessary to bring this woman around to our standards. I tell everyone about your product and website.
Customer Testimonial: Coworkers and Office Prank
Let me just say that when I read about Liquid Ass I had NO IDEA it was so rank smelling. It smells like a cross between runny, fresh diarrhea and dog shit. When I got it, my first victims were my coworkers. I work in a prison and, well, let's just say they were less than thrilled once they were splashed with this rotten liquid. So then (with poor judgement I might add) I decided to ASS the administration building where the warden's office is. Just one little squirt on the tile floor in front of his office and I ran like hell. About 10 minutes later, one of my coworkers whom I had gotten earlier came up and asked if I had gotten the warden's office. I asked why. He said "It is rank as hell in there." 5 minutes later another coworker came up to me and said, "Just a heads up, they are pissed in there. It smells like someone died! The warden wants to know who shit in the bathroom and his secretary is lighting candles and says she can't work in there." He said the whole admin building was in an uproar and wanted to know what the hell the smell is. Of course my emotions were rather mixed, laughing my ass off on one hand and worried about being found out on the other.
— Forget The Hurricanes, Watch Out For The Ass!
To read more about using Liquid ASS for pranks and practical jokes, go to our Suggested Uses page.
Customer Testimonial: Police Department Prank in Greece
I work as a policeman in Greece, found your website by accident and laughed my ass off at your customers mischiefs so I ordered 9 bottles right ahead.
The stuff arrived today, and I surely was going to test it at work. You see there is a big briefing from our supervisors before we hit the streets and most of the times there is no chair to sit on cause it's taken by someone else. I assed the department . . . immediately the space emptied, everyone wondered if the flush broke down "again" and shit floated like boats. The female officers were particularly sensitive may I add, sadly no one threw up. There was though a single case of bravado - a single dude that seem not to care about the smell and was sitting ALONE at the emptied space. As one pointed out, there is always someone enjoying shit.
Nice product. I expect something even more horrific in the future.
— Sid Vicious
If you like Stink Bombs and Fart Spray, just wait until you try Liquid ASS!
Page last updated 17February2018.