College Pranks
College pranks are the highest expression of college humor. The slapstick style humor of pranks provides a needed outlet in the high pressure environment of college. With hundreds of students crowded into college dorms enduring the strains of demanding class schedules, a few well-done, funny pranks can make the semester bearable. Humor and laughter are proven stress relievers, and a few Liquid ASS pranks can help you deal with the pressure of college. Watching the grimaces of roommates, fellow-students, and professors as they endure the intense butt-crack stench of Liquid ASS will have you reeling with laughter. Hearing their comments as to "what the hell is that smell" will provide another dose of mental-health-saving humor. Follow our Suggested Uses, and you will be doing an "Oh, shit!" when you experience the power of Liquid ASS.
Customer Feedback: The "Lair of Obnoxious Bitches" College Prank
Listen to an email about an instant classic Liquid ASS college prank or read the email transcibed below.
Hey Preston,
Being an avid pod-caster of the show, I came to discover Liquid Ass. Because the girls who live in the room next to me only manage to annoy me to no end, my roommate and I decided to get our revenge. About ten minutes ago, we filled an art supply syringe with some Liquid Ass and squirted it under the door of Room 302, a.k.a, the "lair of obnoxious bitches". I'll be honest, I didn't believe you when you said this stuff was the foulest smelling liquid ever — oh, was I wrong. After half of the bottle of Liquid ASS permeated throughout the entire hallway, it began to seep under our door and infect our room with the smell of feet and poo. We literally had to turn on every fan in the room and duct tape the gap at the bottom of the door to prevent ourselves from gagging.
Granted, it is almost 4 am, so these girls are asleep. Well, the smell is so bad, they woke up and are now in the hallway questioning what on earth the horrible smell is, coughing and occasionally gagging. So, it's confirmed, Liquid ASS is the ultimate college revenge weapon.
I just wanted to thank you guys for turning me on to this amazing product. Thank you for being so awesome.
— Sydney
How to Pull an Over–the–Top Office Prank
Using the streaming tip version of Liquid ASS, squirt liberally with a sweeping motion over a large surface area.
On most carpeted floors, Liquid ASS is not visible and the smell lasts longer. On tile floors, squirt in the corners to minimize light reflection. (See illustrations below). A good rule of thumb is to apply Liquid ASS around the perimeter of the target area or approximately that same amount spread over the middle area.
Several significant variables will affect the performance of your Liquid ASS operation. Results will vary due to ventilation, room size, and amount applied. In general (95% of the time), when used indoors with medium ventilation, a third of a bottle will generate dry–heave–quality stench from one to three hours.
The guidelines given above combine simplicity, effectiveness, and entertainment value.
Customer Feedback: College Dorm Prank — ". . . it smells like a rank, sweaty bottom."
I live in a dormitory at a university that is located in the middle of nowhere. There is absolutely nothing to do around here, so my friends and I have resulted to pulling stupid pranks, wherever, whenever. This has involved the use of firecrackers in the shower room, pull–string fire crackers on bathroom stall doors, sulfur–smelling stink bombs, and one of my all time favorites — courtyard air–horn blowing.
However, I have a new favorite that just arrived in the mail today — Liquid ASS. As soon as I opened the package, I could smell something that was not right. I couldn't put my finger on what the smell was, but it was terrible. I had read the testimonials here on the Liquid ASS web page, but I had absolutely no idea what I was in store for. Well, here you have it . . . from an initial skeptic — there is no other description for this product other than it smells like a rank, sweaty bottom. All the residents in my dormitory would agree, as well.
I initially tried it out on my own hall. Surprisingly, it has been worth it. I've been able to leave my door open to listen to the cursing, gagging, shouting, moaning, groaning, and notice the plugging of noses that is all due to Liquid ASS. I lined the whole hallway with it. I sprayed down the stairwells, and nothing could contain the smell. It is such a potent stench, that it filled our two–story tall main lobby. The head of housekeeping here in our dormitory has been roaming the halls, spraying down our common bathroom with every professional air freshener known to man. The smell is still there. To top it off, the radiator is on full blast in the bathroom, adding to the sweaty–ass experience.
Liquid ASS has greatly exceeded my expectations. If you find yourself doubting the experiences you are reading here, just buy it for yourself . . . they're all completely right–on–the–money!
— A College Student from Washington
Customer Feedback: College Dorm Prank — "He is sleeping in his ass–reeking room right now!"
So yesterday, one of my roommates at school was coming back to move his things in for the beginning of the semester. A few hours before he arrived, my friends and I sprayed about a half a bottle of Liquid ASS in this kid's room, on the floor, the bedpost, under his bed, the closet . . . everywhere. To describe it best, his room smelt like the bathroom after your dad gets done with it. About 3 hours after initially spraying the room, he arrived with his parents and siblings . . . and they were in for a surprise. Upon entering the room, his mother started dry heaving, and I believe my roommate's first words were, "What the f**k is that smell? OH MY GOSH!!" Anyway, he is convinced that someone threw up in his room over break, so he has covered his entire floor in scented baking soda . . . and the vacuum is broken, so it's been there for 2 days. He is sleeping in his ass–reeking room right now!
Thank you Liquid ASS for making the last couple days so enjoyable . . . ie, for some.
— T. Walsh
Customer Feedback: Dorm Prank in Sweden — "Oh, what the f**k is that smell?!"
SI was a little skeptical when I ordered Liquid ASS, but not anymore. Check this: I live in a dorm where we have a collective kitchen. Everybody walks in the same corridor to get to said kitchen. I sprayed Liquid ASS on one of the cupboards and went to my room thinking that it wouldn't really smell all that bad. 5 minutes later somebody comes and knocks on my door asking me if I could help them localize the smell. It was PUTRID! I, of course, had to act all innocent like but couldn't hold my laughter. Lucky they were laughing and retching as well. Some comments from the other guys were
"Oh, what the f**k is that smell?!"
"What the hell?!"
"Did somebody shit in the corridor?"
The funniest shit was that I was helping them look for the source. I speculated about how it could be a dead rat or something, knowing full well that it wasn't.
— Mayhem, Stockholm
Customer Testimonial: Repeated Applications of Liquid ASS at a College in Ireland
(This is a long read but well worth the time)
Your product is the best stink novelty product on the planet!!! The very minute I got it in the post, I opened the box and got a whiff off the bottle. It smelt like ass! I'm having such great fun with this product. I never laughed so hard in my life. I was assing the college I go to of an average once a day! The janitor in the college is a first prize ass hole and also a lazy f***er that sits on his ass and gets paid good money for it. That was all about to change when I got hold of Liquid Ass! I assed the the men's toilet cubicles and down along the corridor; also squirted a couple of jets of ass on the heater in the corridor. The smell of this stuff is so potent. I wasn't expecting it to be that bad. It was every bit as bad as they said it was on the assman sight. In my words, it smells like shit at it strongest ever! When used right in the right places, the shit–laden stench lasts for hours!
Every day I was laughing my ass off in college, witnessing the people complain about the stench especially the girls. Some overheard words from guys and girls:
- "Oooooofffff, yoooofffff, the smell of shit!"
- "What's that rotten smell!"
- "What is going on here!"
- "Oooooooh, f***, the smell!"
- "That's dog shit!"
- "The shitter blew up!"
One guy said in the toilet cubical, "It is like being in a brick shit house in 40 degrees Celsius desert heat!"
It was causing a big scene in the corridor and in the toilets. The corridor smelt like ass!
The girls were putting pressure on the janitor to sort the problem. I never seen that asshole work so hard in my life with tonnes of different disinfectants for the toilets! He was on his hands and knees scrubbing like never before! Out in the yard he was lifting up the man hole covers. He was climbing up the rafters in the ceiling in the building to see was there anything dead!
His head was done in by all this. He has went thru the process of elimination and to his utter frustration, he couldn't find the source. The look on his stupid face every day - I found it almost impossible to hold in the laughter. I just had to go off and hide some where on my own and burst my sides laughing! That disgusting smell of diarrhea in the college corridor and toilets was just a formality for the students and the stupid janitor. He had his work cut out for him every day listening to people complaining about the smell of shit. I just could not keep the grin off my face! I stopped assing the place when the fumigators were eventually called! The janitor looked like some dumb ass explaining to the fumigators about the raw sewage smell in the men's toilets and the corridor when the fumigators found no source in the building (ha ha!). The fumigators said to janitor, "We went thru the whole building and checked the manholes and toilet plumbing system and we found nothing that can cause the smell you are on about." One of them said to him, "Are you sure it is no one pissed taking with stink bombs or anything like that?" "Oh, no, no, no. This smells like a pungent shit smell like you would smell in a brick shit house. I mean this is awful worse than dog shit. It stinks up the whole place and it has being a constant thing all week." he said. "I'm getting f***ing sick of this. This is getting f***ing ridiculous. I don't know what I'm going to do about it if it keeps up." he said in a very angry and pissed off tone! "If the smell comes back give us a shout." the men said. "We may have to take up the floors in the toilets and corridor if it continues." The college staff had to fork out 400 euro for the fumigator call out. From a smiley face cocky smart ass hole of a janitor, he was reduced to an angry and very frustrated stressed out man. All I could do by hearing and witnessing the mass hysteria was laugh my head off. Ha.
I was bordering on the bit-2-much side on the college, so I will give it a break for a while.
Just thinking to myself, if that stuff gets into the wrong hands, it can cause a lot of damage. Ha.
I have endless more prank and revenge attacks on my list. There is a never ending amount of people and places to ass. It never stops!
I pulled a harmless prank on my mate by putting some ass in his motorbike helmet. I nearly pissed myself on the bike when I watched in my mirror as he pulled over by the road side. I just had to stop the bike and watch while laughing my head off. He ripped the helmet off his head he shouted, "There is a smell of shit in my helmet and there is no shit in it!" He franticly rubbed his hands thru his hair while looking at himself in the mirror on the bike.
After the long 2 hours driving home on the bikes, I told him about the Liquid Ass product. He said, "Ah, D, ya cunt." He was a little annoyed, but at the same time he laughed off the joke as he is one of them easy-going guys that can take a joke. He was amazed with the product. He thought it was the best thing ever! I asked him what was the 2 hour drive like with that helmet on. He said, "It was like having my head shoved up someone's hole for 2 hours. That's the best way I can explain it. I felt like pulling over several times to get sick. I did not know what the f*** was going on!"
I think this is the best stink prank novelty product ever because:
• The bottle is small and handy.
• It is invisible and silent - no noise.
• It smells like pure shit at its most potent.
• Even a small bit of this stuff can go a long way.
• It is impossible to find the source because it is invisible - no mess.
• It smells like a proper realistic smell of shit, not like them distinctive rotten egg sulfur stink bombs and fart gasses that nearly everyone knows about and can leave evidence behind. When you use Liquid Ass, no one suspects that anyone has let off a stink bomb because it smells like real proper shit and no one can really prove that someone is joking around.
• The the shit-laden stench can last for hours if used right! A whole 24 hours in some cases!
• Works like a dream in offices. Ha ha!
I really appreciate your product. I am a very happy customer and I will be buying more stashes of Ass off you in the near future for fun, laughter and enjoyment. Keep up the good work.
An up-market restaurant in Dublin is my next target. The owners are so rude and such snobs that they need to be assed badly. I will give it to them with a vengeance! I will email you to let you know how it goes.
Thanks assman one and two.
— Devious D in Ireland
Customer Feedback: College Janitor Payback Prank
Liquid Ass is so great that I had to take it to work and ass the elevator at a dorm of a major university. They didn't know what hit 'em. We got on the elevator and before we got off on our floor we assed it real good with a "squirt" — not a few drops. Then we took another elevator back down and assed that one and stood in the lobby watching the kids get off gagging and watching them get on and start gagging as the doors closed. It was so funny we had to go outside before it became obvious we done something. That'll teach 'em. Don't publish where this is coming from because I am going to ass them again the next time I'm at that building.
— Payback for the Clogged Shitters
Page last updated 22February2018.